7 Things You’ll Have to Let Go If You’re Going Achieve in Life
Everywhere you look there are motivational posts and inspirational articles about how to achieve everything you want in life. They have cool titles like “10 Ways to Achieve Your Dreams” or “The 3 Daily Habits Every Billionaire Keeps Doing.”
But success and achievement isn't always about what you should be doing. Achieving your goals isn't always about good habits and being disciplined. Sometimes you have to let go…
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When I decided that starting my own business was something I wanted to pursue, I had to make lots of changes in how I do things and in my personality. It was a struggle, but I had to let go of the old ways and embrace a new way of living.
For example, if you've met me in person at an event or conference, you probably had no clue I was very introverted. Being around people and crowds drains my energy. But, if I wanted to succeed, I had to be more social.
The way of thinking that got us where we are might not be the way of thinking that will get us where we want to go.
I want you to succeed. I want you to achieve your goals and live a life that makes you happy. To help, I want to share
7 Things You Must Let Go If You Want to Achieve
1: Your fear of rejection
Everyone has a fear of getting rejected. I think it stems from that first dance in middle school where you're standing against the wall wanting to ask the girl to join you on the dance floor but knowing your friends will make fun of you.
We all get rejected. The most successful people get rejected more than most. To paraphrase Thomas J. Watson, the man responsible for IBM's success,
If you want to double your rate of success you must double your rate of failure.
Rejection as definitely a type of failure; you have a goal and set out to achieve it, but you're rejected from achieving it.
Put another way, “If you want to succeed faster get rejected more.”
Like on the middle school dance floor, rejection is a way of life. Everyone faces it. The only thing we can do is let go of our fear of rejection and learn from it whenever it happens.
2: Your self-doubts
If you're going to achieve in life, you're going to have to let go of your self-doubt. We all have it, but the people who get things done are the ones who can ignore their inner heckler and move forward anyway.
Self-doubt creeps up every time we try to do something worth doing. It's that inner voice that asks,
Is this what you really want to do?
What if this doesn't work?
Aren't you afraid of failing?
You should just give up now before anyone knows what you're doing; you don't want to look stupid if it doesn't work, do you?
In my coaching business, I've come across hundreds of people crippled by their self-doubt. However, their self-doubt doesn't work on the surface or in recognizable forms. It works by telling the lie that if you just had a little more information you could be successful. It works behind the scenes telling today isn't the right time, and you should wait.
Can you ever eliminate self-doubt entirely?
No. But you can learn to act in spite of it.
To achieve what you want to achieve in life, you must have a certain amount of self-confidence. You have to believe in yourself and in your abilities if you're ever going to succeed. What many people fail to understand is that there's a big difference between confidence and arrogance.
Confidence is knowing what you know and having a track record of results to back it up, and arrogance is confidence for no reason and with no results.
Arrogance is something we have to face and move past every time we start something new. Our arrogance tells us we don't have to start at the bottom, that we don't have to pay our dues, or put in the necessary hustle to make things happen.
Arrogance tells us that certain tasks are beneath us, that we're too good to get down on our hands and needs and scrub the floors so we can build our business. Arrogance makes us say, “Oh, I am NOT gonna do that” when opportunities show up disguised as unglamorous hard work.
If you want to achieve your goals you have must let go of any and all arrogance. Like the toxic cancer of self-doubt, you must cut out arrogance at the core and be willing to do whatever is necessary to turn your dreams into a reality.
Early in 2015 a friend of mine called me up and told me he'd heard I'd been rude to an up-and-coming star in the online business/blogging/speaking circuit named “Kevin.” I was caught off guard because I'd never even talked to Kevin before and I didn't even think he knew who I was.
Well, it turns out Kevin had me confused with someone else, and I'd never been rude to him at all.
Instead of being small-minded or petty, I decided to move past it. Yes, Kevin had tried to damage my reputation, but holding a grudge doesn't do anyone any good, especially me.
If you want to achieve in life, you're going to have to let go of any small-mindedness plaguing your life. It doesn't matter if that's “just how you are”, you can change. It doesn't matter if you say, “Ellory, you just don't know what they did!” because the result is the same – deadly cancer eating away at your chances of success.
I'm not suggesting you have to be best friends with your enemy or even hang out with them, but you do have to let go and move on if you want to achieve in life.
5: Small visions, goals, and dreams
When you first set out to achieve a goal, it's easy to use that nasty word that has kept you from achieving all your life – JUST. You tell yourself,
I JUST want to make some extra cash on the side.
This is JUST a hobby, I don't take it very seriously.
I JUST want to finish the race; I'm not there to win.
The word JUST is keeping you from doing amazing things with your life, and you should stop saying it. Own your dreams and goals, and have the confidence to go after them.
Whenever I start working with new coaching clients, they often have this “just” mentality. They're often not sure what to do next, and it's usually a symptom of small visions, goals, and dreams. The average person can't see beyond the next thirty days, and when they do, it's only to plan their next vacation escape.
If you're going to achieve in life, you're going to have to plan for the long-term. You've got to have a vision for your life, set massive goals, and dream big dreams. You need to find the balance between being realistic and setting a goal so audacious it's almost ridiculous.
Take the advice of Stephen Covey and Michael Gerber and begin with the end in mind. Ask yourself where you want to be, not only in 6 months, but in 12, 18, and 24 months. Determine what you'd like to be doing in two years, work backward to today, and behave accordingly.
Don't let small visions, goals and dreams keep you from achieving the big ones. Let your small thinking go, dream big, and get to work.
6: Where you are today
Several years ago I heard someone say,
You can't steal second with your foot on first.
And it's stuck with me ever since. Then I heard this phrase,
You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.
Chasing your dreams takes a lot of courage, but so does leaving behind where you are today. You can't move to the house of your dreams if you're not willing to let go of your apartment in the suburbs. You also can't fully dedicate yourself to building your business without letting go of your day job.
In every journey, there comes a point where you have to embrace the unknown, take that step beyond your comfort zone, and go further than you've ever gone before.
Samwise Gamgee had to do it in the first Lord of the Rings movie, and his life was never the same. If you want to change your life in the same way, minus the dragons and goblins of course, you too have to do new things and learn new skills.
If you want to achieve in life, you will have to let go of where you are today so you can get where you're supposed to be tomorrow.
7: Bad habits
Habits, both good and bad, come in all shapes and sizes. From the route you take to work every day to the way you brush your teeth and comb your hair, habits dictate most of what we do every day.
If you're going to achieve your goals in life, you've got to let go of your bad habits, starting with the worst.
Habits like staying up too late and sleeping in when you could be working on building your business. Habits like maintaining an unhealthy lifestyle, being pessimistic, hanging out with the wrong types of people, or wasting time.
Every day our habits lead us down the path to the results we've always gotten. To get new results you have to get new habits. Start small and make the conscious effort to eliminate your bad habits and replace them with good ones.
Lastly, let go of your feelings and thoughts that you aren't good enough, pretty enough, smart enough or talented enough. You are. You are all of those things, and your inner critic shouldn't be the only voice you listen too.
Sure, you may have to get better (and you probably do). Sure, you may need to learn more skills or develop your talents (and you probably do). But just because you need to improve (and we all do), doesn't mean you shouldn't get started. You are enough; you do have value; you are worth paying attention to.
No go and get it!
What things have you had to let go or leave behind in order achieve your goals?