How I Lost Some Credibility and How I Will Get it Back Again
I recently had a conversation with my wife. It didn't go as planned.
I wanted to attend the New Media Expo this coming January in Las Vegas, so I asked my wife how we could figure out a way for us to go together.
What I was expecting was an answer about how we could cut some costs, save money and budget ahead of time.
The answer that I got back in return was a shocking reminder about credibility and doing what I would say I would do.
Photo credit: BlogWorld & TBEX events / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA
Earlier this year, in May of 2013, I spent money on two things designed for personal development and improving my blogging skills.
The first thing that I spent money on was 31 Days to Building a Better Blog by Darren Rowse. The idea behind this ebook was that I would do 31 separate activities that would help me gain readers, build a traffic, and make take my blog to the next level.
I made it through 7 days and put the ebook on the virtual shelf.
The second thing that I spent money on was Jeff Goins' Tribe Writers group. It is designed to build an audience, find your voice, etc.
It's about a nine week course, I made it through one.
So, when I talked with my wife about spending $500 to send me to New Media Expo (NMX) in Las Vegas, she was understandably skeptical.
Relationship are like that; they have trust banks where we can make both deposits and withdrawals. If we say we're going to do one thing, and either don't do it or do something else entirely, our trust bank takes a hit.
I would say that my wife and I have a wonderful marriage, a solid partnership, and a love for one another that is incredibly strong.
However, if I say I'll finish two things and then don't, when we discuss me taking on a third one, I shouldn't expect to receive the thumbs up.
Has something like this ever happened to you?
Have you ever reached beyond your grasp?
If you're in a similar situation, don't worry; there's a way to bring your credibility back to balance.
Here is what I'm going to do to get my credibility back, and what you should do if you've lost yours as well.
- Apologize. No one likes to apologize but sometimes we have to. No one but me decided to take on more projects, and no one but me decided to put the old ones on hold.
- Redirect. When we make a mistake, we have to do a course correction. Continuing to do what lost your credibility will only hurt you. If you don't redirect, or don't even genuinely plan to, just shut up and don't dig yourself deeper into the hole.
- Realign. Now that I've changed course I'm only part of the way there. I now have to get back on track and realign with what my initial plans were; realign with what I said I'd do.
- DWYSYWD. I now have to Do What I (You) Said I (You) Would Do six months ago when I bought the ebook and signed up for the online course. I have to pull the ebook off of the virtual shelf and give it a virtual dusting. I have to log back in (I hope I remember my password), and begin working my way through the curriculum. I have to do what I said I'd do when I pulled out our debit card and paid for the tools.
While I can't promise to be at NMX in January, I can promise that I'll finish what I started. I can promise that I'll earn back my credibility and get back to balance.
Question: Have you ever damaged your credibility? If so, how did you work to get it back?
While I do agree… there are some tools better than others. There are some tools that are built better, more attractive, more exciting, easier to use, … In your case …more engaging, effective, can hold your attention 😉 . Maybe the two you purchased were not for you or just not good tools… But again, you’ll never know until you finish them …so, again, while I do agree… 🙂
What are you saying Paul? That I’m easily distracted? Ha.
Honestly, the 31 Days to Building a Better Blog is a really great tool. The problem was, it was so good that I got started down various paths and forgot to come back. I’m really liking that book.
Tribe Writers is a little different. I felt that Goins prerecorded sessions and turned everyone loose. It has yet to pan out. However, one of the very first lessons really changed my writing style, and since then, I’ve small adjustments for the better.
And you’re right, I should save judgement until I’ve completed them both.
Thanks for stopping by, reading and commenting! I really appreciate it.
While I do agree… there are some tools better than others. There are some tools that are built better, more attractive, more exciting, easier to use, … In your case …more engaging, effective, can hold your attention 😉 . Maybe the two you purchased were not for you or just not good tools… But again, you’ll never know until you finish them …so, again, while I do agree… 🙂
What are you saying Paul? That I’m easily distracted? Ha.
Honestly, the 31 Days to Building a Better Blog is a really great tool. The problem was, it was so good that I got started down various paths and forgot to come back. I’m really liking that book.
Tribe Writers is a little different. I felt that Goins prerecorded sessions and turned everyone loose. It has yet to pan out. However, one of the very first lessons really changed my writing style, and since then, I’ve small adjustments for the better.
And you’re right, I should save judgement until I’ve completed them both.
Thanks for stopping by, reading and commenting! I really appreciate it.
Although I regularly try to increase my knowledge about blogging, I never buy the ebooks or programs. I shouldn’t talk because I’ve never tried them, but my thoughts have always been that they are designed more to support the writers financially than to magically help the buyers. I did buy and read Michael Hyatt’s “Platform,” and I did glean a few pieces of helpful information. But my experience is that the majority of information about becoming a more successful blogger is available for free.
Honestly, I sometimes find the bloggers who are making their living by offering “how-to-blog programs” too much like slick salesmen. I hope to never go that direction on my own blog. I’d rather help others with no return. But my ultimate goal is to gain followers based on honest communication that will help my book writing become more accepted. I’d rather be a great (classic) writer than a self-help blog guru. When the history books are written I don’t think many “formula” bloggers’ names will be included as great literary writers or poets. Sorry about the tangent, Ellory.
Now about your dilemma. I think your humility will go a long way. Your relationship with your wife is more important than the blog. Blogging is a long, slow, process. Sure, a few have made it into a faster way of creating income, but that’s NOT the norm. For me, I have to look at blogging as something that enjoy and gain satisfaction from even with no financial return. Otherwise, I would have quit a long time ago.
Dan, thank you for reading and taking the time to comment! I’m so glad this post sparked something with you.
I honestly think we have to shift how we think about buying things. Just because something isn’t sold in a store, but sold online, I often have a hard time thinking it’s worth spending money on.
Additionally, I think 31 Days to Building a Better Blog is a great product! I started day 8 this morning and am remembering why I liked it so much the first time.
The catch is that I have to take the tips and ideas and actually do something with them. I can’t read the book and put it aside.
To your point about being a salesman, you know I believe that we’re all salesmen or saleswomen. We’re all selling something to some one at some time. If you have something to teach, I think it’s ok to get paid for it. You may hold the knowledge key that someone like me is looking for. Granted, a lot of instruction is out there for free, but at what point are we willing to pay a little money to save a lot of time searching?
Lastly, I’m definitely enjoying what I’m doing! I love it! That’s why I want to “Go Pro” and blog and podcast full time. I hope to help as many people as possible, and I think my podcast will help me do that.
Thanks again for commenting Dan! Your insight is always appreciated.
Although I regularly try to increase my knowledge about blogging, I never buy the ebooks or programs. I shouldn’t talk because I’ve never tried them, but my thoughts have always been that they are designed more to support the writers financially than to magically help the buyers. I did buy and read Michael Hyatt’s “Platform,” and I did glean a few pieces of helpful information. But my experience is that the majority of information about becoming a more successful blogger is available for free.
Honestly, I sometimes find the bloggers who are making their living by offering “how-to-blog programs” too much like slick salesmen. I hope to never go that direction on my own blog. I’d rather help others with no return. But my ultimate goal is to gain followers based on honest communication that will help my book writing become more accepted. I’d rather be a great (classic) writer than a self-help blog guru. When the history books are written I don’t think many “formula” bloggers’ names will be included as great literary writers or poets. Sorry about the tangent, Ellory.
Now about your dilemma. I think your humility will go a long way. Your relationship with your wife is more important than the blog. Blogging is a long, slow, process. Sure, a few have made it into a faster way of creating income, but that’s NOT the norm. For me, I have to look at blogging as something that enjoy and gain satisfaction from even with no financial return. Otherwise, I would have quit a long time ago.
Dan, thank you for reading and taking the time to comment! I’m so glad this post sparked something with you.
I honestly think we have to shift how we think about buying things. Just because something isn’t sold in a store, but sold online, I often have a hard time thinking it’s worth spending money on.
Additionally, I think 31 Days to Building a Better Blog is a great product! I started day 8 this morning and am remembering why I liked it so much the first time.
The catch is that I have to take the tips and ideas and actually do something with them. I can’t read the book and put it aside.
To your point about being a salesman, you know I believe that we’re all salesmen or saleswomen. We’re all selling something to some one at some time. If you have something to teach, I think it’s ok to get paid for it. You may hold the knowledge key that someone like me is looking for. Granted, a lot of instruction is out there for free, but at what point are we willing to pay a little money to save a lot of time searching?
Lastly, I’m definitely enjoying what I’m doing! I love it! That’s why I want to “Go Pro” and blog and podcast full time. I hope to help as many people as possible, and I think my podcast will help me do that.
Thanks again for commenting Dan! Your insight is always appreciated.
hahah, love that the example was your wife first and foremost before any other credibility bank was invested in. Keep loving her and the rest comes a lot easier
David, I honestly didn’t even think about that when writing it, but you’re right; our spouses should be at the very top of almost any list we may have.
And just so you know, I’m up to day 10 of by better blog book!
I’m glad we’re connecting! Thanks for stopping by David.
Likewise Ellory keep the streak going
hahah, love that the example was your wife first and foremost before any other credibility bank was invested in. Keep loving her and the rest comes a lot easier
David, I honestly didn’t even think about that when writing it, but you’re right; our spouses should be at the very top of almost any list we may have.
And just so you know, I’m up to day 10 of by better blog book!
I’m glad we’re connecting! Thanks for stopping by David.
Likewise Ellory keep the streak going