Don't Shoot Yourself in the Foot. Why We Fail Before We Try

Don’t Shoot Yourself in the Foot. Why We Fail Before We Try

Have you ever thought about doing something new or different but never did?

Or, have you ever made plans but for some reason they fell through?

If you're a normal person, you can answer “yes” to both of those questions. I know I'm guilty of both of those things.

Have you ever wondered why we fail before we even try?

why we fail before we try on the sidelines cropped wide

Photo credit: deanzaforce98 / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA

The other day I got a voicemail from a reader.

(I would love to hear from you too! if you would like to leave me a voicemail click here.)

In the message, she mentioned she'd just read my article about 11 simple things to do to get massive results. She told me, and she has mentioned before, that she's considered starting her own book club.

However, she hasn't started one yet.

And I started thinking,

Why do we fail before we even try? Why do we tell ourselves “no” before we have a chance to say “yes”?

I think we fail before we try, because we fail to try

I know, profound, right?

We're afraid of trying and not succeeding. We fear the feeling of embarrassment and the ridicule that could come from firing and missing the mark.

We're afraid the people close to us will make fun of us, that they'll think less of us, or that they might respect us a little less.

And that's why a support system like a mastermind group, or personal coaching is so important. Those support systems encourage us to step out of our comfort zone and try new things while not thinking less of us if we don't achieve what we set out to achieve.

What kind of incredible achievements, cool new gadgets, or new and fun ideas could we have if everyone had a support system that believed in them and encouraged them.

It also makes me wonder what we could achieve if we didn't fear what other people thought about us or what we're trying to do.

Heck, it makes me wonder what I could do and accomplish.

I remember back in January that I was absolutely terrified to email close friends, family and people I'd done business with and tell them that I was starting my own business.

It still scares me to death.

It scares me because I might fail. It scares me because I might not live up to the expectations I have for myself, or the expectations other people might have for me.

I wish I had a solution for you.

I really do. I wish I could tell you that one day, after repeated successes, you would no longer feel as if you needed the approval, praise, or acceptance of other people. I wish I could tell you that once you have achieved a certain level of success, you would no longer feel like you needed the support of other people.

However, that's just not true.

What project are you working on that you're secretly hoping will earn the approval of others?

What could you achieve if you realized you'll always have fear, and that you must act in spite of it?

We sideline ourselves because we're afraid we'll get hurt while playing the game. (Tweet that)

Life is meant to be lived, mistakes and all.

But, you know what I've found?

I've found that the pain of regret is worse than the pain of failure. I've also found that the “worst case scenario” we imagine is extremely unlikely to happen.

You can't play the game from the sidelines. You have to step onto the field if you want to play. (Tweet that)

Final question: What are some things that you do to push your fear aside and head toward your goals?

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  • Johnny Lee Phillips says:

    The answer to your question: Hang out with guys like Ellory in a mastermind. 🙂 Then take MASSIVE action.

    • Thanks for commenting JL! You’re right, masterminds are awesome!

      I have to remember though, not all action has to be massive. I psych myself out when I think I have to make massive leaps in my progress.

      • Johnny Lee Phillips says:

        Yeah, I get that. It probably is all the little actions that compound to cause something massive. I just like to think of taking massive action. It fuels me….. 🙂

  • Johnny Lee Phillips says:

    The answer to your question: Hang out with guys like Ellory in a mastermind. 🙂 Then take MASSIVE action.

    • Thanks for commenting JL! You’re right, masterminds are awesome!

      I have to remember though, not all action has to be massive. I psych myself out when I think I have to make massive leaps in my progress.

      • Johnny Lee Phillips says:

        Yeah, I get that. It probably is all the little actions that compound to cause something massive. I just like to think of taking massive action. It fuels me….. 🙂

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